So we’ll get right to it on the list of how guys mess up relationships with women. Obviously women can mess things up too and that list will show itself another time soon.

5. Jealousy. It’s bad for many reasons. It shows insecurity inside of you, gives undo attention to the guy (or guys) you’re jealous of, and causes you to make many of the other mistakes within this list. Really guys, most of the time it’s pathetic to be jealous. It paints a picture of you being anything but strong. Forget about it! Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long. Guys who are confident in themselves aren’t the guys who are jealous worry warts fretting that some other guy is going to steal their girl away. Show her that you’re secure in yourself and aren’t intimidated by other guys and you’ll show an attractive element of yourself. Show jealousy and you’ll show an unattractive element of yourself. You pick.

4. Being too serious. Everyone wants to enjoy themselves and be around people who know how to have a good time, have great stories to tell and can make others laugh. Don’t tell jokes (that’s usually cheesy), but be playful and get her laughing. You don’t want to be around someone who’s boring and neither does she. A man who’s fun and has a great sense of humor is often seen by women as being attractive. Be the guy who doesn’t take himself, life, her or even your relationship too seriously. Have fun yourself and it will radiate to her as well.

3. Constant contact with her. Calling her every hour (or more) of the day to see what she’s doing or to tell her you’re thinking about her is NOT what she wants even if she thinks it is. All it tells her is that you have no life and she has become your life. She doesn’t want to be your life because she’s already got her life. What does she gain? You need to offer her something other than what she already has! Plus if you call her all the time you are taking away mystery and anticipation. You should be too busy to overwhelm her with calls. Hang out with other friends, do things you enjoy, go to the gym, and make sure you have a life outside of her. That doesn’t mean you don’t care about her or that she’s not a large part of your life but emotionally healthy women usually don’t stay with men who can’t stand to spend a few hours on their own. She is attracted to the guy who’s having fun no matter what he does and that makes her want to be around him to be part of his adventures rather than her being his only adventure.

2. Being passive. Guys, I know that the media and society has told you to calm down and stop thinking you’re in charge of everything as part of the attack on what a real man is. I’m not suggesting you think of yourself as in charge of everything, but stop leaving every decision to her. She hates that! When you’re going out to eat with her don’t play the “I-don’t-know-where-do-you-want-to-go” game. You likely know what kind of food she likes and if not then go somewhere that offers a wide selection. You don’t even have to tell her where you’re going, just tell her that it’s a great place or a surprise (but if it is a surprise it needs to be a place that isn’t typical or else she’s not going to look forward to the next surprise). The bottom line is, make decisions. Voice your opinion. Don’t be a jerk about it but women like it when you have the evening planned instead of looking at her and asking her to decide where the two of you go next. To women that’s boring and makes you look like a passive momma’s boy!

1. Saying “I love you” too soon. Sometimes guys say this because they think she wants them to and she often does. But remember, people rarely know exactly what they want. If it’s said too soon, even if she thinks she wants to hear it, some of the adventure and excitement that comes with the natural progression of a relationship will be gone. It’d be like a child being on a trip to Disney Land and expecting the trip to take ten hours but in one hour is told the trip is over. While it might sound nice that all that time in a car is avoided, we must realize that part of the joy of a trip like Disney Land or even waiting for Christmas is the anticipation of it all. Don’t rob her of that.

Naturally I can’t give you a time frame of when it’s right to say those words, but be sure that you aren’t saying them just because you think she wants to hear it. Also, make sure that you aren’t in love with the idea of being in love. Take your time and make sure that what you feel is beyond the infatuation that comes with the early days of a relationship. You gain nothing by saying “I love you” before it’s had due process and you’re certain. Even after you’re certain, see how you feel about being “certain” for a few weeks. You don’t win any contests by telling her that you love her. If anything, you take some of the mystery and attraction out of the equation. That certainly doesn’t mean you should never say it, but your relationship should be rock solid and mature in order to handle the loss of this carrot in front of us.

So there you go guys. Avoid those things and do the right things and you’ll be successful in relationships.

Kevin Winslow is a moderator for Real Christian Singles Message Forum

As Buttitta excitedly prepared for her wedding, the costs kept mounting. Then, four days before the big day, her fiance called the Oct. 2 wedding off.

With such short notice, she could not recover most the money she had spent — so the 32-year-old lawyer is suing for more than $95,000 in damages (claiming  intentional infliction of emotional distress), plus the costs of filing the suit. (Source)

I’d say that a consideration would have to be if he knew how much she was spending and “authorized” her to do so on his behalf. But I tend to think he’s liable for half of the expenses.

Should she win in court? What do you think?

Did you know that people are attracted to people who are fun? It might sound obvious but many people act like they’re unaware of this fact. Many singles seem to treat their date, or the person they want to be their date,  like a wind-up toy. There seems to be a reliance on the other person to make things fun.

You see, that’s where you want to be. You want to be the one that’s fun. And how can you “be” fun? By having fun. It’s really that simple. Assuming you’re a mature human being (we can assume that, can’t we?), when you have fun, other people will have fun. It’s like laughter, it’s contagious.

So when you’re thinking of date activities to do with that certain someone, or that someone you want to be that certain someone, think of things you enjoy doing. Unless it’s something that they absolutely hate, they’ll have fun if you’re having fun. It’s a general principle, but it’s one you can go back to. If you’re having fun, you’re probably doing it right! And that’s attractive!

Ladies, you’ve probably been there. Your close friend excitedly announced that she’s engaged. She shows you her big, fat diamond ring and talks about how wonderful her man is and where they plan live after the wedding.

Do you panic? Do you look at your life and compare your relationship success with hers? Here’s an interesting article on what foods to eat to get that “comfort craving smacked.”

But really gals, the race is sometimes long. It’s not a sprint and sometimes it can be an all-out marathon. It’s about quality here. You want to find the right guy, not a guy right now. It is tough though and so taking opportunities to meet guys be it online, at church or at social functions is a smart thing to do and increases your odds for success.

Blessings!

As most of us know, when it comes to attracting the opposite sex, a sense of humor is a huge plus.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not the be-all-and-end-all. I mean let’s face it, if we had an extremely overweight bald man who was very funny on one side and Brad Pitt on the other side, I think we all know which line the girls would be in when it came time to admit attraction. So let’s not be silly.

However, if all things are about equal, a good sense of humor is very attractive to both men and women.

If you aren’t an extremely funny person, don’t panic. No one said you had to be ready for Comedy Central. But having an understanding of good humor or having a funny story can be very helpful.

So add to your bag of tricks a funny story or two and just be aware that good humor can help you attract a mate. Just that should be pretty helpful.

To join Real Christian Singles, click here.

Hopefully this blog will help you deal with and overcome jealousy and insecurity in relationships. At least it might be a start.

At one time I was a jealous type. During my teen years I was jealous of any guy who got around the girl I was dating.

It took some break ups and toughing up…in many ways it was like I was torn down and rebuilt like in the military. Now my confidence level is such that I don’t feel jealousy.

Jealousy and insecurity usually starts from a lack of confidence and a lack of trust that you can move on without that person. Maybe you’re even in a co-dependent situation.

I don’t think it’s something that can happen overnight, but for someone who struggles with insecurity and jealousy in relationships I’d say:

1. The race is long. Sometimes you’re ahead and sometimes you’re behind. Don’t sweat the small stuff or else you’ll lose site of the big picture and drive yourself crazy. Know that you aren’t going to lose someone or win them back in just one day and that most of the time your fear of losing your significant other is unnecessary to begin with.

2. If the person you’re with seems that hard to keep then you need to reevaluate the relationship. If you really see every member of your sex as competition for your significant other then either your significant other is that kind of person or you are overreacting. If they are that kind of person then you probably shouldn’t be with them.

3. Jealously is unattractive plus it does you no good. It’s like worry in that you pay the worst price for something that may not happen and your worry has no influence on it at all. Worry and jealousy only hurt their host–you.

So the next time you feel that twinge of jealousy, take a deep breath, smile and remind yourself that you can help yourself by NOT being jealous. How? Because you’ll appear more classy and confident than a jealous wreck and, therefore, more attractive which will actually give you a better shot at keeping your significant other instead of losing him to Miss Mid Drift.

And if you lose him then thank God that you dodged the bullet before you married him.

Yes folks, you’re never too old to want some lovin’. It seems that even at 107 years old the “birds and the bees” part of life still applies! That’s right, a 107 year old Chineese woman is seeking a husband. Good for her!

According to the Yahoo article about her, “Local officials have said they are happy to help Wang search for a 100-year old groom, and suggested her family get in touch with old people’s homes to find candidates, the paper said.”

I’m reminded of that old song…

So remember, even if you are in your 100′s, there’s someone out there for you.

With all the marriage enrichment seminars out there, I’ve decided to offer some singles enrichment. What do you think of the list of topics?

1.)  Keeping the house clean with only two hands.
2.)  Keeping yourself on budget.
3.)  How to win an argument with your inner self.
4.)  Cooking for one – a real art form.
5.)  How to pass the time when you are alone in constructive ways.
6.)  Mending clothes-Darning socks; a must for single guys.
7.)  How to spot someone who is on the take.
8.)  Senior and Single – How to beat Euthenasia
9.)  To roommate or not to roommate, that is the question.
10.)  Dogs, a single person’s best friend.

Kidding….Mostly.

Did you know that 19 percent of single parents have roommates or someone renting a room in their home? And, if you’re single but not a parent, 53 percent of men and 43 percent of women live with roommates. I thought that more men would live alone than women, but that doesn’t appear to be the case according to the U.S. Census.

So half of the single guys live alone and more than half of the single ladies live alone. All the more reason to mingle with folks at Real Christian Singles.