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christian_chick_ak Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 145	Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:34 pm  No More Dating Until... I'm starting to wonder if I should say no to dating, or wanting to date, until I loose weight. I think that is the dealbreaker. I think that a guy would be lucky to get me, but I think my weight keeps many men away. I'm about 30 pounds overweight. I do my best to eat healthy but I don't always get to the gym as much as I should. However, I know that being overweight is a health risk, so that's not good to bring into a relationship. Not to mean attractiveness is a big factor. It's the one big thing for me that I really think keeps men away. _________________ Trust in the Lord...Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart... Commit your way to the Lord...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. (Psalm 37)
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robmontana49 Joined: 02 Apr 2009 Posts: 191	Wed Nov 18, 2009 10:27 pm  I'm starting to wonder? I don't believe you should stop dating because of your weight. what matters most is whats inside of you. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." _________________ May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 cor 13:14 “Passionate follower of Christ” Robert
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Brandalf85 Joined: 27 Dec 2008 Posts: 250	Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:51 am  Re: I'm starting to wonder? robmontana49 wrote: I don't believe you should stop dating because of your wight. what matters most is whats inside of you. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." This. I think perhaps something you should consider: maybe it's not YOU that needs to change, but the guys you are interested in. In other words, you believe that changing your weight will attract certain guys, but have you thought of whether that if they reject you because of how you look weightwise that they're even the type of guy you should be thinking of dating? What if you lost the weight, got the guy, and gained it back. What if the guy suddenly lost interest? To me, if a guy is going to base all of that on a simple weight thing, then perhaps he needs a heart and mind change, and you shouldn't change a thing. If you WANT to change for health reasons, then go ahead. But I would ask you not to change for a guy just to attract him. If your personality and character aren't good enough for him, then he isn't good enough for you.
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robmontana49 Joined: 02 Apr 2009 Posts: 191	Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:16 am  Brandalf85 I could not have said it better then you. It's whats inside that matters _________________ May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 cor 13:14 “Passionate follower of Christ” Robert
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Tim1982 Joined: 18 Aug 2009 Posts: 54	Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:38 am  I highly doubt you would want the attention of guys who's only interest would be your looks. Your you, dont change yourself for a guy, or guys. It might suck being rejected, but you'll weed out all the superficial losers who only look at whats on the outside.
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leesw2 Joined: 09 Jun 2004 Posts: 1233	Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:59 am  Ok, I'm going to interrupt this feel-good rampage and disagree with the guys who have responded so far. If you don't feel good about yourself because of your weight, then you should lose it, if anything, for your own confidence. And I'm not going to tell you that what is on the outside doesn't matter. It was God's idea to make humans visual beings. I'll admit, if a girl is overweight, I'm probably not going to ask her out. No, I'm not sitting there thinking bad things about her or making fun of her behind her back, but I'm not going to ask her out. It's not a crime or breach of God's law to want one of the factors about my significant other to be physical attractiveness. If I'm even remotely open to marriage, I'd take my vows very seriously and want to make sure I feel I could keep them without regret and part of that is a need for physical attraction. One other thing I'll add for those of you who think I'm not being spiritual; the Bible says we should "honor God with our bodies" and that our "body is the temple of God." So if someone is not taking care of her/his body, there's also a spiritual reason not to have her/him on the list. Maybe that's why God created humans to be attracted to the lean type...maybe we're naturally attracted to those who treat their body like a temple. But then again, I know different people are attracted to different things. So there ya go. I stirred the pot a little, but I don't think I'm off base. No offense to anyone was intended by this post.
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hope42009 Joined: 05 Nov 2009 Posts: 22	Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:58 am  One other thing I'll add for those of you who think I'm not being spiritual; the Bible says we should "honor God with our bodies" and that our "body is the temple of God." I was doing fine with all the responses until I read this. What about people with medical reasons for being over weight? I have a friend that was forced to take a medication that would extend her life but packed on the pounds and there was no diet that could aid her. I think everyone should treat their body as a temple, but let's face it, their are times when that is not possible. I do believe that their is a limit on the amount of extra weight your body will tolerate. However, I agree with everyone else....beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if a person can't go beyond your physical flaws, than he is not the right person.
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Inhislove Joined: 18 Nov 2009 Posts: 5	Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:36 am  Trust God and his plan I would say trust God in this matter a little more. The right guy will see the inner beauty and heart you have. The God that knows the number of hairs on you head knows the plans he has for you. The Bible asks followers of God to be completely and totally dependent upon and submissive to God. The writer of Proverbs, for example, cautions that people should not "lean unto their own understanding," but rather should allow God to "direct" their "paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6). Weight or looks doesn’t matter to our God. What matters is that we seek him and his plan and not depend on what the world thinks. I know its hard but trust God in this matter especially when the world is scream at you with there plan and vision of beauty. But God beauty and vision is not the same as the worlds.
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t-mama23 Joined: 18 Nov 2009 Posts: 3	Thu Nov 19, 2009 2:09 pm  I understand how you feel. I"m going thru that right now. But i want to lose weight fo myself, not to attract men. Brandal85 said it best
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paulabbc Joined: 06 Oct 2008 Posts: 332	Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:49 pm  I would like to put a few things out there for everyone to consider. First, everyone should strive to be healthy. Eat healthy. Get exercise. Get sleep. Take care of their temples. I had gastric bypass surgery because I had diabetes and couldn't lose weight even with a controlled diet and going to the gym regularly. I wanted to be around for my grandkids. However, what is and isn't "over weight" is really up to societal norms up to a certain point. There was a time when thin, lean women would have been the ones who never got looked at twice. Men liked curves and fuller figures. We're not talking obesity here. We're talking about 20-30 lbs. "over weight." (When you get to being 100 lbs over weight, it's time to take big steps to remedy it. For me, it was a gastric bypass. For others, they can do it with diet and exercise. Still others may go with other surgical options.) But..... No one should ever do things to please "men" but to please God. If you lose the weight because you feel it's what God wants of you, and it increases your confidence, men will be more attracted to that confidence. You are not looking for men who wouldn't give you the time of day because of your weight, but men who will recognize the peace you have in knowing you are in obedience to the Lord's will for your life and the confidence of knowing that everything is in His hands. If you have that confidence and peace, and you are still 20-30 lbs. overweight, then the right men will still be attracted to you. And the wrong men will dismiss you for the wrong reasons. All of us need to concentrate on being the right person, not looking for the right person. If you are the right person for someone, and you are relying on the Lord and putting yourself in a position where He can bring you someone, then He will in His time. And after all, if it's not God's will or timing, do you really want someone just for the sake of having them? In His Grip, Paula
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shamonj Joined: 08 Nov 2009 Posts: 47	Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:59 pm  Attraction leesw2 wrote: Ok, I'm going to interrupt this feel-good rampage and disagree with the guys who have responded so far. If you don't feel good about yourself because of your weight, then you should lose it, if anything, for your own confidence. And I'm not going to tell you that what is on the outside doesn't matter. It was God's idea to make humans visual beings. I'll admit, if a girl is overweight, I'm probably not going to ask her out. No, I'm not sitting there thinking bad things about her or making fun of her behind her back, but I'm not going to ask her out. It's not a crime or breach of God's law to want one of the factors about my significant other to be physical attractiveness. If I'm even remotely open to marriage, I'd take my vows very seriously and want to make sure I feel I could keep them without regret and part of that is a need for physical attraction. One other thing I'll add for those of you who think I'm not being spiritual; the Bible says we should "honor God with our bodies" and that our "body is the temple of God." So if someone is not taking care of her/his body, there's also a spiritual reason not to have her/him on the list. Maybe that's why God created humans to be attracted to the lean type...maybe we're naturally attracted to those who treat their body like a temple. But then again, I know different people are attracted to different things. So there ya go. I stirred the pot a little, but I don't think I'm off base. No offense to anyone was intended by this post. I think people use that honor our bodies because our bodies is the temple of God out of context. In this scripture Paul was not talking about a person being over weight. He was talking about fornication. It wasn't talking about a thin person or an overweight person. 1 Corinthians 18 & 19 18Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? I agree with you that people should take care of their bodies by exercising, eating right, so they will live longer, have more energy, be healthy, and be more effective in the body of Christ. However to use that scripture to make a point is out of context because Paul wasn't talking about that. A beautiful woman? Show me in the Word where God said that a thin person is more beautiful than an over weight person. Let's take a look at what the Bible says about a virtuous woman. Proverbs 31:11-30 10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Notice that verse 30 says that beauty is vain. It's not about how beautiful she is or attractive she is, it's about a woman who has reverential fear for the Lord. I'm not saying that you are wrong for having preferences. What I am saying is this, don't turn your preferences to mean something spiritual when it's actually not spiritual at all. Even Jesus said don't look at a woman and lust after her or you commit adultery in your own heart. So there is nothing spiritual about being attracted to a woman because she is thin or because she is overweight. That is the fleshly part. It's more spiritual being attracted to someone because they have the Spirit of God dwelling in them in my opinion. I have a question for you. What happens if your wife starts gaining weight after years and becomes overweight? Will you not love her just because she gained some weight? Will you get a divorce all because she gained some weight? You know our bodies are temporary and they are decaying each day that goes by. So the attractiveness that your woman may have will fade away. The question is, if that happened, would you still be able to love her? Last edited by shamonj on Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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shamonj Joined: 08 Nov 2009 Posts: 47	Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:09 pm  Beauty is Overrated I want each of you to see this video. This brother is preaching. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ejPrae6P3M
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